AIDs can actually be spread this way:-
A 10 year old boy, had eaten pineapple about 15 days back,
and fell sick, from the day he had eaten. Later when he had his
health check done...doctors diagnosed that he had AIDS. His parents
couldn't believe it...Then the entire family under went a check-up... none of
them suffered from Aids. So the doctors checked again with the boy if he had
eaten out...The boy said 'yes'. He had pineapple that evening. Immediately a group from Malaya Hospital went to
the pineapple vendor to check. They found the
pineapple seller had a cut on his finger while cutting the pineapple,
his blood had spread into the fruit. When they had his blood checked...the guy was suffering from AIDS..... but he
himself was NOT aware. Unfortunately the boy is suffering from it now. Please take care while you eat on the road
LOL. Received it thru e-mail again. Haha.
Back, again, like finally. LOL. Kind of a lot of things to post. Anyways, before I start my boring post, let's have a good laugh first. Meaning, I received some funny e-mails and though of posting it up. While here goes the first one:-
1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad,
'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '
Dad says , 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '
6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush ..'
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The second one:-
1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend,
phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'.
She turns to her lover and says,
THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.
3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!
4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,..... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.
5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!
6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts
her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
7. Yesterday's News :- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park
was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
8. Why do Indians talk non stop?
Guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....
Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their
forehead.
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Third one:-
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! Soon, a farmer passed by and heard the little bird chirping. Seeing the poor creature covered with dung, he decided to help the bird get out of the mess and placed it under a shrub.By this time, the bird was feeling warm and chirpy. and A cat passing by heard the sounds, saw the bird and ate it up. Morals of the story?1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.3) When you’re in deep shit, it might be better just to keep your mouth shut.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fourth one:-
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Keep reading-they get better!!!
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always arough draft before the masterpiece
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
I own a pug which has ear sight problem! Today, went downstairs with Mummy to buy stuff and my pug came along. Know what? I seriously don't know how she walk lar. She walk walk walk le then bang into the pillar and somehow I think she know there is a pillar there. After that, when we walk to the void deck going take the lift, there was a bike in the middle and my b!tch just directly went to bang on it. Funny yea? Me, her owner, has got eyesight prob wear specs is normal. But imagine a dog wearing one all day long like the one below. Sorry I can't find Pugs wearing specs in the net.
And I found another picture. Imagine a Pug reading. Here it goes. Haha.
Well enough of those. Back today. Morning, school assembly then Science. Boring. Wanted to sleep. Well, sorry Mr Lim. After that was Chinese, recess, Music, Maths and lastly CI. Mac with Rachel, Crystal, Don and WenBin. After that went to the bookshop and home-d. Kinda of reall tired now. LOL. Nothing much. Think my blog is kinda of wordy this days due to me wanting me to do a picture spam. LOL. Ok, there's a horny joke.
Once, a Mother was bathing with her son. While bathing,
Son (Pointing at Mum's below): Mummy what is that?
Mum: It's a car garage.
Son (Pointing at his own): Then what is this?
Mum: It is a small car.
Son: Then Mummy, can I park my small car inside your garage?
Mum: No son. It is for your daddy's big car to park tonight.
At night, the son sneak into his parents room and saw ... ... Suddenly, he shouted,
Son: Daddy, your parking skills sucks. No matter how you reverse and go forward, you still can't park your two wheels inside!
Understand? LOL. Anyways, hope any teachers read it won't ask me to put down D: LOL. It meant a joke only.
